Friends, it has been far too long since I have written on this blog. Life isn't always kind to the pen of a writer, especially when the trials of each day threaten to tear the motivation out of my grasp. But I must write anyway.
I feel as if I am stuck in a bad YA dystopian novel. If I had been told several years ago that I would witness the entire world erupt into a pandemic, I wouldn't have believed it. (Okay, well maybe I would have...) Don't get me wrong, I'm aware that there is a lot going on in the world, even then, before this 'new normal', there was a grounded basis upon which I was able to establish a fairly regular, predictable, routine. Now, it as is if my entire world has been flipped on its axis, and I know I'm not the only one. Change has never been my best friend. It is scary, uncomfortable, unsettling, and never straight-forward. I've had a LOT of change in my life over the past year alone, but this certainly tops the list of strange happenings in my life.
Now, I work from home. I have an (amazing) third roomate. I can't go outside save for picking up groceries every two weeks. My state is officially on lock down and we're not sure when that will lift. And, as an additional bonus, I never know what the next day will bring.
It would be easy for me to freak out, panic, and entirely lose my mind. After all, without my 'usual' sense of stability, I haven't been entirely certain on how I would handle this crisis. How could I? I've never lived through a pandemic. I've never had to be quarantined. I must admit that when this virus first popped up on the news, I didn't take it that seriously. I figured it would fade away quickly and that it wasn't anything to spend much mental energy on. Oh, I was so wrong. Of course, when I was a child, the concept of dealing with an 'end of the world' crisis sounded cool, exciting even. But now that I'm an adult (I think) it brings an entirely different set of factors that I never would have considered as a kid. Because let's be honest, what kid thinks of economics? None that I know.
But, to be honest, the virus isn't my greatest concern. Yes, it is terrible, lives have been taken, jobs lost, lifestyles altered...but when something this drastic takes place, it is fear that becomes one of the greatest enemies. I've experienced terror before. I remember when 9/11 occurred, and even from a young age, I saw how it changed my country. I know fear. What it does to a society. What it does to the mind, as well as the masses. I'm alarmed of what people will do when they're not thinking clearly. And that is why it is so important to cling to God during this crisis. Without God, this situation would certainly be much scarier. I must remind myself that He is still on the throne, and this is not the end. Will we still find discomfort in the days ahead? Of that, I'm certain. As well as anxiety, dread, and unease. But, we must not lock our focus on these things. It is only by God's grace alone that we live and breathe. He gives us the oxygen in our lungs, the blood in our veins, and the life within us.
That's why I believe that it's so important where we dedicate our focus, even in these difficult times.
Jesus is strong when we are weak.
He is our provider and protector.
Our champion.
Our King.
When we are afraid, He is our peace. When we're hurting, He is our healer. Even when we are lost, He is our compass to guide us home. When we are disarmed and vulnerable, He is our sword.
I don't know what lies ahead. I pray that we all remain healthy and safe. It certainly has been strange to be stuck inside for so long (even though I am an introvert through and through), so adjustment has taken time. But, on the bright side, I have had more time to write, draw, and get things done. I want to try my best to find a positive in this situation, and even though that can be very difficult, I'd rather focus on the glimmers of light then be hopelessly trapped in the dark. Now, this unrest goes far beyond my own four walls. The whole world is reeling from the damage this virus has wreaked. I hope you know that I am praying for each and every one of you, no matter where you are in the world. We don't know what the future will bring, but as long as we cling to Christ and trust that He still is in control, we will endure.
