I've been meaning to post something on here for quite some time, and it's been frustrating, due to the fact that my mind has been blanking on a topic. What can I write about when my entire life seems to be in massive upheaval? Not to sound dramatic or anything, but it's been tough, I won't lie. What do you do when everything you thought was going well suddenly takes a downward plunge? What do you do when your life isn't what you thought it would be? What do you do when you feel unhappy?
These are all questions that have been resting on my heart, and yet, rest is the thing I truly need.
Rest is something we always talk about, but it's something we rarely master. I stand guilty for that one, for certain. Why is finding rest so difficult, I wonder? Is it simply an unattainable myth that we keep alive in vain hope, or something more? I believe it is the latter. We struggle to find rest because we desperately wrestle with the concept of surrender. We, as people, tend to be very stubborn. We want our own ways, our goals, and our dreams to come true. And we will do almost anything at times to see those things come to fruition. But where is God in all of this?
I'll openly admit that I've been confused, and even (a little bit) scared by the events in my life. Well, more like the lack of events in my life. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining! I simply am seeking my next steps, as we all are. However, over the past couple of months I noticed that something was missing in my life, something massively important. That's right, rest. I've had plenty of anxiety, worry, and even anger in the mix, but after I did some soul searching, I found that to be very alarming.
Why have I been letting my fears rule me instead of my faith?
And so, I turned to the Word, because I know without a shadow of a doubt that it works. Even in my lowest lows or darkest days, I've found I still have a choice. I can either trust God, or continue to needlessly panic in my flawed, human fashion. It was in a time similar to what I just described that it finally hit me. I've been fighting so hard to try to make things 'better' when I've been struggling against the very One who guides my every step.
I envision it to be similar to a ship in a storm, being tossed to and fro by the wind and waves. The ship could easily be damaged or torn apart in the gale, and not only does it have to endure the storm, but the captain must know how to navigate through it.
We often try to command the ships of our lives, and yet we fail to understand that we are ill equipped to do so.
The Bible has a lot to say about rest, as well as it's source. In Matthew 11: 28-30, it says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
God doesn't want us to struggle in the wasteland and flounder in the churning seas. He wants us to draw near to Him, near to His heart. Often times we run from his care, erroneously thinking that we can handle things on our own. In our mistakes and mishaps, we tend to feel the most lost and disconnected from meaning in our lives, when all the while, God has always been there with open arms.
Let me tell you something; in order to find rest, true rest, we must surrender everything at the foot of the cross.
And everything means everything. We can't retain some things and surrender others. We are either wholly committed to Christ, or not at all. There's no such thing as a lukewarm Christian, contrary to popular belief. It's great to have dreams, goals, and visions for the future. It's awesome to aim for those things and strive to better yourself, too. But the danger lies in the obsession. This is something I've had to learn myself over the past couple of months. When we become too tunnel-visioned on our dreams, we run the risk of idolizing those things and placing them on pedestals that only God should be on.
For me, I found my identity more in my writing then I did in Christ. And you know what? That realization hurt. Badly. I've only ever wanted to honor God with my writing, but along the way I focused so much on my identity as an author that I lost focus of my identity in Christ. And you know what? Sometimes it takes God having to do something drastic to get our attention. It all depends on how we handle it.
I for one knew, and know, that God is the one who gave me this ability and passion to begin with. Without Him, I wouldn't have it, nor would I even be alive. That is why I've had to seek rest, even amidst the turmoil of the uncertain future, and trust that God is the captain at the helm of my ship, and not me. Praise God I don't have to steer this thing! Sure, I'll try sometimes, and attempt to steer the ship with shaking hands and cracked lips. But ultimately I never could get myself out of (or into) any situations without His tender guidance. The important thing is that I had to surrender my control over to Him.
Surrender never is easy, but it is a life-altering choice.
We often think that we can do everything ourselves, and shun help. The problem with that thinking is that we fail to realize how desperately wrong we can be. Only by seeking God and finding rest in His peace will we ever be able to weather the storms of life. Perhaps I'm the only one who is fighting this internal struggle, but I'd wager that I'm not. We all need to find rest and peace, and sadly we often go to costly lengths to try to find it. I encourage you to seek God, as I am seeking Him, and to try to identify areas in your lives that you need to surrender to Him.
Once you're surrendered your cares to Christ, you'll be amazed one day when you look back on your life, and see how He carried you through every storm, every step of the way.
*Image courtesy of Google Images, not mine.
