Depression: Waging a Different Kind of War

When war is mentioned, vivid images of violence and destruction often come to mind. A struggle between forces for a cause, or sometimes, none at all. War involves great cost, and even greater loss. How many have died defending their country, spilling their blood for an idea, or simply an order? Regardless of your political views on war, there simply are times when peace isn't an option. When the only other alternative is death and destruction, you'll find that action is a very convincing decision. It never ceases to amaze me how far people will go to survive, no matter what.

War is a commonly understood term, but can there be different kinds of war that can't be waged the same way? Perhaps a type of war that lingers far closer to home, and can ring louder then gunfire in our homes and media? Friends, I must say that there indeed is. This war affects many, it is wide in its spread, and horrific in its reach. It all begins with two words. 

Depression. Suicide.

Several years ago, I never would have thought that those two words would one day have such a depth of meaning in my life. Given that those words carried little weight in my own existence, I honestly didn't have much knowledge on the subject. I was, as one would say, naive to the ever-growing problem that was rapidly spreading in the world around me. The war that was taking hold. This war is often silent, and remains (unfortunately) covert in our day-to-day lives.

Unless you've been touched by it.

I remember feeling confused when my best friend of twelve years began acting 'strange'. From my perspective, there really wasn't any other way to put it. Her joy and excitement in life began to fade away, and a darkness settled in her eyes that honestly terrified me. I remember thinking, "what's wrong with her? She's not being herself." As the days turned to months, and months to years, I watched her slip further and further into a shadow of herself, and I was helpless, unable to do anything but watch in frightened confusion. Sure, I tried to talk to her about it, but it never really got anywhere. It felt like a wall was being built between us, but it was a structure not simply wrought by human hands, often not even her own. But how could it be breached?

What was I missing?

Unbeknownst to myself, that war was waging in my friend's mind and heart, a war of natural ailments, but also spiritual causes. I had known that she had been fighting severe anxiety, as well as other situations that had taken a heavy toll on her mentally and physically. The depression was showing its ugly head with fading discretion, and the battles were very hard for us both. Even in the times when she wouldn't act like herself, I had refused to abandon her, and stuck with her through it. I've always believed she was (and still is) worth loving, and never listened when she told me to pay no attention to her lows. Well...I'm sure glad I didn't listen.

As time sped on, the war continued to rage, growing louder and louder until it was nearly impossible to be noticed. Before I knew it, it was time for me to head off to college, and I suddenly found myself in a new place, my old life behind me. Uprooted from my home and placed into new soil, a day still didn't go by without texting or talking to my friend. I had known she wasn't doing too well. However, I hadn't been aware of HOW dangerous things were becoming. It began to concern me when there was an increase of late-night talks that were riddled with negativity and suicidal jokes. I never found them funny, but the rate of their increase had me concerned. Then, I remember asking the question. Was she suicidal? She'd always tell me she was fine, but a part of me didn't believe her.

Something just never sat right, and it continued to eat at me until it couldn't be denied. Even then, when I wasn't fully aware of the severe danger of the situation, I had begun to realize that there was something incredibly sinister going on. It wasn't drama, no was it an overreaction on either of our parts; it was a war. Some kind of sick, quiet, despicably mad war terrorizing us. The problem? It was going largely unaddressed, and my friend was very much alone. Even then, not having a full understanding of the situation, God was tugging on my heart to reach out even more, and to be there for her when she hit her lows. And so I did, to the best of my strength, and it's by God alone that we both got through those times.

It was definitely by God alone that we endured the trials to come.

Everything changed when I began to have a series of nightmares that scared me so bad, I had no choice but to jump into action. The dreams all centered on my friend's death, specifically death by suicide. I have always had very vivid dreams, but to have several of these dreams with such a heavy, scary reoccurring theme...something had to be wrong. It wasn't until the fourth dream really rattled me to the core that I spoke up to her about them. I hadn't wanted her to think that I was crazy (it's not the first time I've had very realistic, scary dreams) but I knew I had to act. I told her about them, and she was completely stunned. To my shock (and honestly, horror) she told me that the worst of the dreams was prophetic. She had planned to act that nightmare out, and to this day we both believe that God warned us through that dream, and inadvertently stopped her from making a terrible mistake.

Now, please understand that I am telling this story with all the respect and sensitivity possible. This war we both found ourselves in wasn't a game, and lives were at stake. I say lives because I truly believe that had my friend committed suicide, it would have opened the door for more loss in the wake of such tragedy. 

Over the following summer, I had returned to the job we both worked, and I realized that nothing was changing, and definitely not getting better. And so, I asked the question. I asked her if she were seriously suicidal, and as opposed to an answer hidden behind a phone screen, she couldn't hide the truth. I remember watching as she hung her head, and despite her walls, they crumbled to reveal the truth. Yes...she was. And she was in danger. 

It was then that I was faced with a sobering question: how far would I be willing to go to save someone I loved? Not that I could save her, if anything, I felt just as trapped and helpless as she did in that moment. However, even though I'm not God, and I can't save people, I can be the hands and feet of Jesus, and be a light in the darkness. So that's what I tried to do. I asked her to seek out help through counseling, something that she hadn't been very willing to do. Whether it was because of my stubbornness, or God's prompting, she made the steps to get professional help. 

As time has passed, she has made a tremendous amount of recovery, but the war isn't over, yet. The thing that comes to mind in this situation ironically has nothing to do with depression, but I feel it is still applicable. In Thomas Paine's American Crisis, he had written something that always made me ponder on its meaning.

"These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, it not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value."

Obviously Paine wrote this when my country was embittered in warfare that didn't seem to ever have victory in sight. Many refused to fight, others fled in fear, and yet some still stood to fight with a dream in their hearts that many never lived to see. As Christians, we have to view this war with depression as a very real conflict that requires very real action. Paine said that they had to stand with their country, and I say this could be applied to our friends and loved ones in the fight with depression. Will we stand with them through this fight? Or will we be 'summer soldiers', only fit to support and encouraged when it's a good day? 

"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph." 

Can we not apply this to depression? It's certainly not an easy conflict, nor is it a short one...but it doesn't come without grace. God doesn't abandon His children, and depression, though aggressive and ugly, doesn't stand a chance against the might of our God. 

Yes, depression is a war. And like every war requires, we must be armed with the appropriate weapons in order to wage it and win. If your friend a loved one is lost in the mire of isolation and defeat, it is up to you to with seemingly no way out, then we must jump down in there with them and stick by their side through the firefight. This war can be won. Let me repeat that, this war CAN be won. It doesn't have to end in heartbreak, anger, and shame. We don't have to sit through another funeral, another memorial service, or even send another confused, uninformed text. We can be the light in their darkness if we allow God to use us. If we remain inactive and placidly sit on the sidelines, we aren't doing a single thing to help those who are engaged in all out war. If anything, we ourselves are to blame.

1. Paine, Thomas. The American Crisis. http://www.ushistory.org/paine/crisis/c-01.htm
2. Photo not mine, found on Google Images

When Darkness Rises: Facing Fear and the Call for Courage

You've probably heard it before. That screaming voice in your head that tells you that your dreams are too big, too bold, and impossible. You've probably felt it before. That twinge of anxiety in your heart that rattles the fledgling hope inside, causing you to doubt. And yes, you've probably seen it before. The events that shape your life and cause you to question everything you know, including that dream that's lived in your mind for so long. If you were to tell me that you've never experienced any of these things, I'd love to talk with you and see what I've been missing, because I've personally felt and lived every single word listed above. I believe that many of you have, too.

We all have dreams and goals, but often life tries to crush them before they can come to reality.

Is the pursuit still worth it, even amidst the struggle? Are dreams worth the trouble to obtain, or are they simply wistful thinking in a world gone crazy?

 I'd like to argue that they ARE worth it, despite the trials and tribulation. The problem is, fear often paralyzes us from action, and fear is at the root of many trials we face when trying to make a difference. When our ideas are growing, they are small and imaginative, and as they grow (and us with them), we find the need to take more and more action to see it through to completion. The thing with action is that it involves risk, and any time risk is involved, fear comes as well.

Have you ever felt so frozen by fear, that you can't properly function in normal life? I sure have. There have been times when I've been so scared of the fear of the unknown, I've been stuck in place without seeing much progress. You see, fear stops us from doing what we're called to do, and if we stay stuck long enough, it can rob us of our dreams and callings. I myself have come to realize that there have been areas in my own life that have been stuck, and not progressing forward out of fear that I'll never succeed. Isn't that such a silly oxymoron? I'm afraid I won't succeed, and so I lock up and do nothing. Sounds like useless, unproductive fear to me.

The Bible has a lot to say about fear, but it also has even more to say about God's faithfulness. There is a perfect example of this in Psalms 145, verses 14 through 16.

"The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look expectantly to You, and You give them their food in due season. You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing."

If God will always provide us with what we need, then surely He can provide us with the courage we need to face our fears and fulfill our destinies. The fear that tries to capture our hearts and dull our minds cannot stand against our God, and that darkness will always flee from His light.

Another verse (also) from Psalm 145, verses 18 and 19, that carry an incredible importance, and have helped me through many dark times.

"The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He also will hear their cry and save them."

I personally have challenged myself to focus on what God says about my future, dreams, and the unknown over the fear that's tried to freeze my mind. It hasn't been easy, but I truly believe it is incredibly necessary. If we are ever to see our dreams succeed, we must be willing to tread into unknown territory and face our fears. God gives us everything we need in order to fulfill His call on our lives, and that surely means courage comes in that package.

The best way I can sum this up is in the words of a little poem I wrote the other day:

There is a whole world to explore,

A world of darkness and light.

Destiny awaits 

When you challenge the night.

Light shatters the shadow's rage, 

No matter it's strength.

Yet, can a hero take on courage

Can we ever be truly brave?

The thing is, we can have that courage, but it only comes through Christ. We shouldn't ever give up on our dreams, because they are God-given, a part of who you are, and unique to you. The enemy always tries to make himself bigger then he really is, and his weapon of fear is the same. If we can look past its exterior, it is really smaller then it seems. 

I challenge you to face your fears, no matter how hard it may be, because I promise that it is worth it. God has amazing things planned for each and every one of us, but we must first be willing to step into the unknown in order to give Him feet to our faith. 

(Image and Poem (c)2018 Elizabeth Hornberger)

Why Write Fantasy? How is it Important?

I have finally returned from the craziness of my college schedule to resume my regular postings on this blog. I have to say, I apologize for leaving you all hanging for so long! Time slipped by me so quickly, I hadn’t realized how long it’s been since I wrote anything. Because of that embarrassingly true fact, I wrote a heavier article today that’s longer then my usual poem posts, despite the fact that I do have many new ones to share. Today, I will be talking about the reasons I believe it’s important to write fantasy, and how this genre can bring glory to Christ. First, we’ll start with a basic definition of fantasy.

Fantasy as a general term applies to what is fictitious, and more often than not, completely disconnected from reality. Fantasy is a very popular genre in books, movies, and plays, and often cultivates a passionate following. It often has a very strong pull on a lot of people’s identity. Numerous book series have become incredibly popular over the ages, seeping into the film and play industries, and beyond. Series like The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Grisha Trilogy, Game of Thrones, and more have become so influential that fans view those stories as a part of their identity.

Simply put, I believe that fantasy stories can be vehicles to lead people to Christ. Firstly, as a reader, and secondly a writer, I have experienced the impact fantasy can leave on one’s heart. One of my favorite authors, Wayne Thomas Batson, wrote a Christian fantasy trilogy called The Door Within Trilogy that so significantly impacted me, it drew me closer to Christ. Even though it was just a story, Batson had woven scripture so deeply in the threads of those novels that there was no denying it was spiritually impactful. Those books encouraged me in my faith and brought me through some very dark times, and for that reason, I am a firm believer that fantasy can and has been an evangelical strategy. The Bible itself contains narratives that are common in fantasy stories. Battles, betrayals, sacrifice, love, good vs. evil…the list goes on and on. The reality is, a lot of fantasy authors have drawn inspiration from the Bible for their content. Great authors such as C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien are excellent examples of this. They both drew inspiration for their works from many classics, including the Bible. Fantasy may be an untrue, fictional story, but it can employ the power of a story’s influence to take what is fiction and point to the very real truth found in Jesus Christ. 

As any reader of fantasy could probably tell you, fantasy stories have a special ability to transport the reader from their often-perceived mundane lives to a place of excitement and adventure. It serves a present need for the reader, who desires a change of pace from the trials and strains of our everyday lives. It forges a fandom’s identity and increases the allegiances in that people group, bringing them closer together with a strong sense of community. This is displayed in many visible ways, from book clubs to cosplay conventions, depending on each person’s personality and level of dedication to the series. I believe that every story has its own unique narrative (unless the author is playing copycat) and is told in the author’s unique voice.    

Fantasy also elicits powerful responses from fans, bringing them together in a unified appreciation of the story. It also creates a strong desire to invest in and defend that story. Authentic narratives are something that fantasy readers and writers alike often vehemently defend are real and true. However, these narratives critically hinge on the reader’s interpretation. I’ve seen readers discuss the same book and draw completely different conclusions from the narrative. Fantasy books do not correlate with real historical events, rather, they exist as a past-time that can consume readers to such a degree that it becomes a pivotal part of their lives.

Now, this isn’t to say that fantasy is purely a waste of time. It is a vehicle that can be used to bring people closer to Christ, despite being a nothing but a story. Stories can profoundly impact us, for good or for bad, and it is critical that we as writers and communicators do not underestimate that power. It is important to write fantasy because it reaches people in a way that a straight-up discussion might not. Instead of tackling current issues head-on, by wrapping those issues in a story, living it through characters, it presents an easier platform for people to discuss those things. As a writer myself, I believe that I can reach my readers through my fantasy novels and show them the love of Christ through my characters, albeit through an indirect fashion. Not to say that writing should be preachy, on the contrary, Christian writers should avoid that. Instead of telling the reader what the message of the story is, we must show them God’s love and power through characters and stories that truly matter. Fantasy points to a very real story in which we all play a part, and that is a truth that rings through our words, echoes in our pen, and thrives on our pages.

(Graphics (C)Elizabeth Hornberger 2018)

Unexpected Pain: When the Church Wounds Instead of Heals

I'd like to take a break from posts about my books and poetry to focus on a topic that has been on my heart recently. The reason I haven't posted this sooner is that I wanted to approach the subject with all the respect and sensitivity as possible. I am aware that this concern may be ignored by some...but I hope that you all will understand my heart. This all began several months, no years, ago with one question: we’re commanded to be the hands and feet of Jesus, but what happens when those hands are used to harm, and the feet to walk down paths they were never meant to traverse?

Are those actions simple missteps on the path toward righteousness, or are they pointing to a much more dangerous truth? If these questions are indeed worth seeking answers, I was left wondering, will I even find an answer to something that is either ignored, or blown far out of proportion? Where is the middle ground?

As a Christian, I have to ask those questions to myself, no matter how difficult answering them can be. Granted, I haven’t lived on this earth for a very long time. I’m a college student, a part-time worker, author, a millennial...the list seems endless sometimes. Despite that, I look at the world around me, and I’d have to be blind to not see the pain and suffering that surrounds me. Because I’m a Christian, I try to always see the world though a Biblical perspective. If you were to compare the Bible to a set of lenses, those are the glasses that I see the world through.

Seeing the world from a Biblical perspective isn’t easy. Honestly, it sometimes is downright painful. There is always going to be injustice in the world, but sometimes, that injustice comes from places you’d never hope to find, or expect. That’s right, I’m talking about the church. Now, before I continue on, I must stress something...I am NOT bashing the Church. The church is still relevant, and isn’t outdated. Let me repeat that; the church is still relevant, and isn’t outdated. However, in my relatively short years, I have seen some of the most amazing people in my life suffer the greatest at the hands of the congregation...and that reality caused me to delve into a deep soul-searching session that would last for several years. Honestly, it’s still on-going. But through this time of questioning and seeking, I’ve discovered a grace that far surpasses anything I’ve ever known.

How can the church be called by God to be the salt and light of the world when we shun those in need of the light? I’ve always been a passionate person. If I believe in something, I will defend it until my dying breath. My faith is no different. When I was in youth groups, I heard stories of people I knew walking away from the church, and those stories always bothered me. Why were they leaving? Didn’t they know it was...wrong? I felt sad, being one of the last of my peers still in the sanctuary on Sunday morning. Then, I always wondered...what’s so wrong with the church that would make them do something so rash?

And then, the answer hit far too close to home. A dear friend of mine was burned by the church in ways that to this day still make me incredibly angry. Not only did this person undergo brutally verbal mistreatment, but they were left emotionally scarred from the trauma. As I stood alongside my friend in the trenches, so to speak, I found myself asking that age-old question. Why would God let this happen? This friend of mine certainly hadn't done anything to deserve such awful treatment. As they were left asking why, I myself asked the same.

No, I never experienced the same degree of wounds from the church. My childhood years spent at church on Sundays and Wednesdays were uneventful at the least and often exciting at most. I did experience quite an awful amount of bullying from my peers, but I never blamed the church for that. My teachers were always kind and I never was yelled at, mocked, or belittled by authority figures. With all that being said, I'm sure some out there would question my reasons or right to talk about this subject. If I didn't experience it, then why would I even bother saying anything? I may not have dealt with it personally, but because my friend and I are so close, I had to see what that pain did to them, as well as others that I know.

Ephesians 4:32 says, "Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." This is a scripture that I see many people in my church living out to it's fullest. They're kind, open, and will do almost anything for you. Even on bad days, they're quick to come to your aid if you need it, and that's something my family and I have truly appreciated over the years. Then, there are those who don't. Now, this isn't a comparison rant post. I'm not going to describe these people and give a list of all the things I think they're doing wrong. I'm not to judge, that's God's job. I can only state what I see before my own eyes for the sake of clarity. There is a truth in that there are many judgmental people in the church. If you don't believe me, then ask around your community.  In my previous job, two of the four coworkers around my age admitted to me that they had been hurt by the church, and that was the primary reason they didn't believe in God.

Why is this such a common thread? It honestly hurts my heart. As followers of Christ, we're called to reach out to the lost and show them the light of Christ. We're not supposed to turn people away because they're not like us, or are struggling with some pretty big things. Haven't we all dealt with sin? Salvation isn't a pedestal. It isn't designed to lift you above the masses, and parade you about as the pinnacle of human idolatry. It isn't meant to be puffed up with pride, but open, and honest, with humility. The problem is, a lot of people don't see it that way. They wear their salvation as a badge of honor, believing that they're somehow better then everyone else. Pride is certainly dangerous, but in the church, it can wreak devastating consequences.

How do we avoid those traps? How can we, the church, do a better job at loving those in desperate need of God's touch? How can someone who's been hurt by the church ever be healed, and be able to see the church in a good light, as God intended?

It starts when God's people get on their knees, and repent. Then, it's important to spend time in God's Word. Joshua 1:8 explains this perfectly, "Study this book of instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do." In order to live according to God's Word, we have to know it. We can't expect to live a Godly life without it. This isn't something you can use to point a finger at someone else in judgement or even well wishes...it is a microscope. Like the sword spoken about in Hebrews 4:12, the Word cuts through all lies and pretense, revealing the true intent of the heart. If we ever wish to see true change, we have to be willing to turn that sword upon ourselves and learn where we need to find forgiveness and healing. As the saying goes, hurting people hurt people, and there are far too many wounded sitting in the sanctuary, as well as in the world at large.

Do you know someone in your life who has been hurt by the church? Have you ever asked them what is still holding them back from seeking God, despite their pain? Be encouraged to reach out to them, you never know what they may be dealing with. It says in 2 Timothy 2:25 that we are to "Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people's hearts, and they will learn the truth." It could be that in their pain, they really need someone to come alongside them and be willing to show them love, where others wouldn't. Even if something hasn't directly affected you, like my friend's pain afflicted by the church, still be willing to step out of your comfort zone to gain more understanding.

If we ever wish to turn this tide around, we'll have to be willing to get to work to fix it. Yes, it will be hard, and often painful, but in the end, it will be far worth it. In order to help those outside of the church who need Jesus, we must first help the hurting in our congregations, who perhaps have been wounded similarly to my friend. Once we've done that, then we will be far more effective at reaching the lost and telling them the good news. It may be work, and it might not be what we want to do, but it's highly necessary if we wish to truly impact the world. 2 Timothy 2:3-4 enforces this, saying, "Endure suffering alone with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. Soldiers don't get tied up in the affairs of civilian life, for then they cannot please the officer who enlisted them."

If you've been hurt by the church, please don't give up. Don't lose faith in God, and don't lose heart. You're not alone, and you're not abandoned. If my friend can go through so much pain, and still cling to faith, I know you can, too. If you're like me, and you haven't experienced that kind of pain, know that you're still able to make a difference. You can make a real change in someone's life, and it all starts when you walk in love instead of judgment. This world can be very dark and hopeless. It can be really hard, full of days when you wonder if this is all worth it...but I promise you, it is. I've dealt with enough of my own hurts and negative experiences to tell you that I have a little experience in the pain department. But we all do. We're placed on earth at this time in history for a reason, and I'm banking on that fact. Even in our greatest hurt, God is still there for us, and I know He's been there for me.

I wish you all the best, and know that I pray for every single one of you. I believe in you, I know God's created you to do amazing things, and I hope that you'll see that someday. Don't lose heart! If you are hurting from these sort of wounds, please don't hesitate to reach out. You're not alone, and you CAN get help! God won't give up on you, and I pray you find peace and healing under His wings.






(Picture not my own, found on google images.)

Book 3 News! Wings of Revelation Cover Reveal, and More

I am happy to announce that I have received the cover art for my third book in The Warriors of Aragnar, Wings of Revelation! Some of you may have already seen this, as I've already posted it on Facebook and Instagram, but I couldn't wait to share it with all of my blog readers!

Each book cover is so special to me, and I want it to capture the themes of the book, as well as the feel. After having a yellow/gold theme, and a red/black theme, I really wanted to have a cover that showed the beauty of Aragnar's landscape at night, in a scene far more peaceful then the second book's intense cover! I've always loved stars, and so when I told my cover artist I wanted a beautiful night sky.

I wasn't disappointed! Not only did the cover turn out exactly the way I was hoping it would, but it far surpassed my expectations! Book covers, especially for fantasy books, are a great opportunity to show the reader and illustrated depiction of the story's world and characters. For the Aragnar books, I've been doing my best to share it with you all! Not only do I have the book covers, but I have some more of my own art coming soon!

Speaking of my art, I have some exciting news to share with you!

After talking to my publisher, we have decided to release a fifth book in the Aragnar series, which will be an art book of sorts. It will be a guide to Aragnar, and I'm so excited to share it with you! Not only will it be filled with my artwork, depictions of the creatures, people, and armor in the series, but it will include brand-new short stories, notes, and other awesome tid-bits about Aragnar!

I've been wanting to do something like this for years, so I am incredibly grateful that my publisher is giving me this opportunity! I will share more information about it as it comes, but for now, I hope you enjoy the new cover! 

New Poem: Louder Than Words

I am finally back after the insanity that has been the last few weeks! Between setting up new book events, working my (regular) job, and writing the third book in the series, I haven't had much time for anything else. Fortunately, I've been writing a lot of new poems, and compiling some of the best (at least, in my opinion) for Dauntless.

Soon, I plan to write some posts about subjects other then my books and poetry, I have a lot I want to write! Time management has always been a friend to me, but as I get busier, it's become harder to breathe! Whoever told me that summer break would be less crazy then a semester was wrong, or at least, in my case! Oh well, at least I'll get to vacation before school starts back up.

The poem that I will share with you today is called "Louder than Words", and was borne after a long day that prompted deep thought. Sometimes I'm convinced that my best poems come to fruition in the oddest hours of the morning, but oh well! I really hope you enjoy it, as it was a lot of fun to write!

Louder than Words

I love the depth of mind-crafted words

Precious thoughts inscribed in ink

The heart's true intent, that like a bird

Wings it's way to glory, refusing to sink

The pen is mighty, stronger then blades

Oh, how fitting that it bends the swords

Should warriors tremble at the sound, afraid

For don't they know war is louder than words?

Discriminate not, in passion the fiery tongue

Meant to be heard, a pounding drum

That breaks from the pages and through lungs

Calling for all who crave depth to boldly come

Why hide your face, did disgrace promise aid

In a life scrambling for meaning, craving truth?

So much empty talk, but is anyone unafraid?

Can an ear bend to works grand in breadth?

Shadows dwell where pools of light should be

Eyes show shattered windows to empty souls

Hungering for the ability to boldly live free

Speaking words of truth beyond their control

Like vines, the whispers tangle

Desperate to breathe in wonder

Their minds, oh so strangled

Can blind eyes ever see color?

The world is muted and violent

But there's a glimpse of light

In kind words that shatter silence

Ringing in ears longing to fight

The pen is mighty, stronger then blades

Oh, how fitting that it bends the swords

Should warriors tremble at the sound, afraid

For don't they know war is louder than words?

(Picture not mine, found on google images)

HEAV Convention: An Absolute Sellout!

I am finally returning to a regular schedule of posts, after spending the last two weeks preparing for the Virginia homeschoolers convention! I had first attended this convention as a vendor two years ago under the Young Entrepreneurs section, and now I finally had a chance to return; this time as a full-blown vendor under my own brand. 

I have to admit I wasn't sure what to expect. My first experience had been good, but disappointing in some ways, so I was naturally a little nervous. After all, this was to be my first book signing as a traditionally published author, and there are certain risks to be taken when undergoing such an endeavor. Being a new author can honestly be scary at times, but also incredibly exciting. 

I am happy to say that I did not leave discouraged. In fact, I found my passion for writing rekindled through the passion and fire in the hearts of many, many young people I encountered. Not only did I sell out of every single copy of Wings of Honor, as well as most of Wings of Darkness (all but two), but I also got the chance to meet so many aspiring authors and writers!

Speaking to these amazing young people truly humbled me. I honestly found it a little difficult to stand there as they looked up at me with admiration...because I truly still see myself as one of them; a fiery dreamer with goals as big as the sky. Who am I but a simple artist with a love of words, who wants to bring hope to a dying world? Some would call that statement dramatic, and perhaps it is. But if it is truthful, then at least I can speak with candor.

I was also incredibly blessed to have my best friend (basically a sister) Sarah help me run the booth and keep the operation smooth and stress-free! Not only has she inspired my writing and encouraged me to share my stories with the world, but she has been a steadfast warrior at my side through thick and thin. Seriously, every writer needs a friend as awesome and indispensable as her! Thank you sis, for all you do, it is not taken for granted!

Yes, I experienced overwhelming success, but money is not my end-goal, nor will it ever be. I really enjoyed encouraging these incredibly talented young writers to press forward into their writing, and to never give up on the story God has given them! I hope to read their stories one day, I sure am excited for each and every one of them as they embark on their journeys God has in store for them! 

This is my favorite part of writing; meeting like-minded people who share a similar passion for writing. Sure, I love penning stories and delving deep into worlds previously unknown...but how precious is a heart full of love for books that could one day change the world? 

Even if my books never fall into the hands of another reader, this past weekend has proven to me that what I have done, and am doing, matters. That God is using me to touch people I have never met, and perhaps may never truly know. And even if I never get to meet these young people again, I am praying for them all every single day! May I always carry that passion in my heart as long as I write, and I pray I never forget that God is the source of my stories, as well as my success. 

I am so thankful for everyone who came out and supported me, purchased my books, and shared in my dream! You guys are the best, and I am so grateful to have met every single one of you! 

I plan on doing more events in the future, and as soon as I have some events set in stone, I will share them on my blog and Facebook pages!