Paper Mache Heart: A Poem

Have you ever had a day in which nothing seems to go right? Or perhaps an entire week? A Year? For me, the past two days have been nothing but pain, strain, and little gain. (Okay, I tried to pun, don't shoot me! I'm honestly shocked I have the energy.) Life's thrown me an ample amount of difficulty, and it's been hard for me to keep my head above the raging waves. If it were possible to physically drown in stress, I already would have.

Now, I know that stressing won't do me any good. And I'm faithful to remind myself of that...as a continue to stress. Why is it so hard to simply stay in faith? How come God seems to shrink down to the size of an insignificant pea every time I'm cast in the shadow of a mountain? Yes, it's perspective, and no, I shouldn't stay there. But sometimes, all the best advice in the world seems entirely worthless when you're hurting, upset, and beyond the realm of rationality. When I'm struggling with my fears, I always ask myself, "will it ever get any better?"

Thankfully, there's a good end to this story. You see, even though I am faulty, imperfect, and sometimes far too riddled with fear, God is faithful. He patiently holds me close in His arms as I weep, and walks with me through my trial-filled day. And you know what the best part is? Even when I hurl accusations His way, He doesn't shun me because of it. He keeps loving me through my pain. Not only does He care for me through my hurts, but He still blesses me regardless. 

I was given the most incredible opportunity today, one that will advance my future career, as well as my books. While I will give more details as this unfolds, I am so stunned, excited, and in awe of what God is doing in my life. I never imagined I'd get a chance to use my talents in such a way during my time in college, and I honestly am not sure where this will take me. All I know is that God, in His loving mercy, still gave me a tremendous blessing I desperately needed despite my tired, worn out, ragged faith. In my traditional fashion, I wrote a new poem about how I had felt, and how God's faithfulness never wanes of fades. I hope you enjoy it!

"Paper Mache Heart"

You say you want to fly like a bird,

But you're too scared to let go.

Of all the things that weigh your mind,

The hurts that crush your soul. 

"If I had wings, I'd fly far away", you say,

Wishful thinking of a grounded dreamer.

Who claws for waning courage to stay,

Regardless, deep down, you're still eager.

To taste the freedom of the sky, oh but pain,

That tears through the winded feathers.

Like paper, you watch them blow away,

You wonder if you'll ever find fairer weather.

But something inside you refuses to concede,

Against all the raging odds, it lifts high above.

You learn that no matter how much you bleed,

A soft voice whispers, "You're good enough."    

You think your heart's made of paper mache,

But truly, it is anchored deep in firm stone.

No matter what happens, never forget to pray,

For you will find victory through Christ alone.

You're fighting your very hardest,

Don't let them tell you their lies.

Faith shines forth in the darkness,

Against all odds, you will rise.