What Computers and Antifreeze Have in Common

Have you ever had something happen so suddenly, so out of the blue, that you feel like it's too good to be true? Well, that certainly happened to me.

Now, I know what you're thinking. What DO computers and antifreeze have in common, anyway? Well, apparently a whole lot more then I'd ever have thought. Let's be honest, I never considered writing an article with such a ridiculous title, but then again, I tend to forget that God often uses seemingly 'ridiculous' ways to bless us.   

It all began on the drive back to Liberty University (best college ever, in case you were wondering) when my car broke down, leaving my friend and I stranded at a gas station for three hours. By the time my dad came, we both were tired, hungry, and frustrated.

As I soon discovered, being stranded at a country gas station is an excellent setting for some good, much needed contemplation and soul searching. 

Turns out, negativity is a VERY persistent pest. Almost immediately, I felt as if I was fighting sixty foot swells, floating in a mere sailboat. It's very hard to stay afloat when the entire world wants you to drown. Yes, it may have just been car issues, but it was enough of a battle that required a serious mentality switch. 

But why was I feeling so negative? Was it because of the car? Or was I letting my circumstances dictate my outlook? Turns out, those negative thoughts were wrong. Not only was my car fixed for barely any expenses, but God then blessed me with a new computer, a computer that did not cost me ANYTHING.

Sometimes God's ways of blessing us are out of the blue, and this was certainly one of those times. I've needed a new computer for some time now, especially since my art exploded into the digital realm. However, I had been very frustrated, as I could not afford one. No matter all my frustration, I knew that I had to trust God to help me get the money I needed for the computer. Turns out, I wasn't thinking big enough.

God didn't need to give me money to get a computer, He simply GAVE me the computer instead.

And here I was, feeling very humbled and shocked.

There was a lesson to be learned in this, and that is why I am sharing this story with you. God doesn't (and won't) have to provide our needs the way we think He should. As our loving Father, he will always take care of His children, even if the way He does so is out of the box and mind-blowing.

After all, we serve an out of the box God, and for that, I am so very grateful! 

Crimson-Soaked Sacrifice and the Significance of Understanding

As Resurrection Day draws to a close, I have found myself pondering on the weightiness of Jesus's tremendous sacrifice. Even though this action in and of itself isn't uncommon for this day, I grew alarmed when a stunning reality collided with my whirling thoughts.

Has Jesus's death, burial, and resurrection become so flippantly casual in my Christian circles that we have forgotten the cost that serving the Lord will require?

From the first glance, the statement above could perhaps come across as cliche. However, allow me to use one of my own personal experiences as an example to illustrate my statement.

This time a year ago, I was not at the college of my dreams, but rather a community college that I both loved and hated. I loved it, because as one who enjoys academic pursuits, college was the natural choice for me. I also hated it, because the environment was so different than little homeschool graduate me had ever experienced. Not to say that I wasn't prepared to endure the 'real world' as many people told me, but I was incredibly surprised by the amount of severe anger and rejection of God's saving grace in those classrooms.

Because of this, I became incredibly self-conscious of my faith, and remained determined to keep my 'radical' beliefs to myself. For why would I dare stick my neck out on a chopping block when I knew a knife was hovering above, waiting for the opportune time to strike... Nope, not this girl. I truly loved God and my heart hurt for my classmates and professors who were so obviously lost, but did I speak up? No. I didn't pay much attention to this fact until my last semester, when my faith was tested via an extremely prideful atheist professor, one who spoke frequently about the things of God, but not in a way that I would ever agree.

Of course, of all the classes to make a 'mistake', I had decided to wear my cross necklace to the first day of class. Needless to say, it didn't go over well. Not only did I receive some heated verbal jabs, I was quite frankly mocked and ridiculed. All because of a small cross necklace.

Really? That's sure what I thought. I left that class feeling so dejected and ashamed that I hid the necklace in my backpack for the rest of the day, too embarrassed to bear the cross of Christ. But was I really embarrassed? Or had it simply been my wounded pride? God convicted my heart immediately after, and I began to feel so terrible for what I had done, that I almost grew sick to my stomach. Even though the action was seemingly small, the spiritual implications ran far deeper.

I was ashamed to bear the cross of Christ. I was scared of feeling rejected, and I did not want to be uncomfortable. Put simply, I was caring more about myself and my reputation then God. After some soul searching, and seeking God's forgiveness, I knew what I had to do. The next day I walked into that classroom, I wore my necklace for all to see, and instead of acting in a rebellious, disrespectful manner, I chose to be the best example I could be, and I never regretted that.

Friends, my illustration is a mere bump in the road compared to the great persecution many Christians in the world face. As an American, sometimes this reality can slip my mind; something I sincerely regret. While I am struggling with a decision as to wear a cross necklace or not, someone across the ocean is struggling with the reality of death if they were to be caught with a Bible, much less a little necklace.

In Christian circles, we tend to talk about God a lot, but we also converse a great deal about ourselves. Yes, Jesus is mentioned, because my oh my are we so grateful for His saving grace! However, sometimes what is not mentioned can be even more important then what is.

I find that sometimes I struggle truly grasping the seriousness of Jesus's sacrifice, and I doubt that I'm the only one. I've found that reading the account of Jesus's crucifixion only on one day sets a bad habit into practice. I find myself taking His shed blood for granted. Believe me, I understand why Resurrection Sunday is important, and it should be recognized. But I also understand that I can't just think about Jesus's sacrifice on one day, and promise to live better tomorrow.

We are not promised tomorrow, or any other length of time, for that matter. Only God knows the number of our days. Jesus didn't shed His blood for us to hide in our safe churches and congregate in the shadows, keeping the world in the dark by refusing to share the Word out of fear. If we cannot say that we will stand as soldiers of the cross when the times of darkness come, then it is time for us to rethink our actions. We cannot be mere summer soldiers who march bravely only when the sun shines bright above; but we must stand through the fire, no matter how hard or long the struggle may be.

We can no longer take Jesus's shed blood for granted. We can't train for only half a race. We must build our endurance and train for the battles ahead. It is when we fall on our knees in gratitude and worship at God's feet do we find breakthrough in areas that we long believed were sealed. Remember, giving up is never an option for a soldier of the cross, but victory is promised through Jesus's triumph over death. Death has been stripped of its sting, and we can look forward in hope, for we serve the one true King!  

The Fire Inside: A Poem

I'm back with more poetry running rampant in my mind, I think my busy college life has turned me into a relentless poet. This one is a personal piece after some introspection. Enjoy!

There is a whirlwind in my soul. 

A fiery passion, blazing so bright,

The intensity rages beyond my control.

Like fire in my veins, the rage of a comet,

Always held inside, burning in my eyes.

They think they know me, but I'm atomic.

Suppressed, a calculated unpredictability,

Set me free, they'll watch me soar.

Held back, an unrestrained anomaly.

Kicking down the walls, a barricade,

Will never restrain the flame inside.

No matter the score, I see through the facade. 

It cannot suppress a fierce mind. 

Dear Christians: It's Okay to Admit You're Hurting

"You'll pull through this."

"Just tough up, it'll work out."

"Don't lose faith, trust God."

Have you ever been told something along these lines? Have you ever truly struggled with something that shook your heart and threatened to shatter your faith? Have you ever felt like your hope has been locked in a cage in your soul and someone threw away the key?

I'm willing to guess that you have, because I, for one, entirely understand the struggle. Everyone has been hurt, many damaged, and some have believed they are beyond saving. It is easy to look at such people and not imagine that they are Bible-believing Christians.

But, wait, Christians aren't supposed to struggle, right? Aren't we supposed to be living in faith, steadfastly firm in our convictions with God's fire in our hearts? How could we, the Body of Christ, ever have hurting soldiers in our ranks? Friends, I can tell you that unfortunately, that is the case. I know many people who truly love God and seek His face, and yet still struggle in their lives. However, should this really come as a shock?

Ephesians 6:12 says, "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."

Sounds to me like we've got a bigger battle then the spat with our next-door neighbors. As Christians, we are not promised an easy life. Nowhere in the Bible does it state that we are commissioned to live cushy lives far away from any confrontation or uncomfortable circumstance. In fact, we are told in the Word that such a situation should be seen as unsurprising.

This is laid out clearly in 1 Peter 4:12, "Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing has happened to you;"

Trials WILL come. Difficulty WILL arise. Life will ALWAYS throw a curve-ball at you, and I guarantee that your first response will most likely be to panic and freak out. It's easy to look at the mountain and be overwhelmed by its height. Trust me, I know. I've been in situations where the mountains seem so impossibly tall that speaking to it is the last thing little me would ever consider. Nonetheless, we are told to command it to cast itself into the sea. No, it's not easy, but the life of the Christian was never promised to travel the easy road. We were promised the meaningful one, a road of sacrifice, trials, and unknowns.

In fact, we are told to rejoice. The next verse in 1 Peter 4 states, "But rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy."

It's okay to admit that you're hurting, that doesn't make you any less strong. When hope is failing, THAT is the time to grab hold of your faith with both hands and refuse to let go. No matter how hard it is to hold on, or even how much you might want to let go, remember Who is with you. If God is for you, who can REALLY stand against you? No-one, and I can tell you from personal experience that this is true. As Christians, we aren't called to struggle in the mighty gale, the winds whipping us to and fro, tearing us apart and rending us useless. No, we are called to fly ABOVE the storm, in the light of the sun.

Sometimes the darkness of the storm can hinder our vision of the light, but we must remember that the light dwells within us, and can never be extinguished. The fire in our veins is not controlled by emotional whims or a torrential downpour of discouragement, though it may try. Despite the storm, God is ALWAYS true and never will abandon us. If you trust Him, I promise you won't regret it. And in order to do so, you must do something that I still am yet trying to learn. You must stop fighting, and allow Him to rescue you. No matter how far you've fallen, how seemingly hopeless you've become...don't lose heart. No matter the trial, if you allow Him, God will take your ashes of brokenness and turn them into pure, clean snow.

New Poem: "Defiance"

This poem is dedicated to my best friend, a true steadfast warrior, and the wind beneath my wings. 

Here's to the hopeless,

A cry for the forgotten,

The lost, and the broken.

I pray to God you learn

That your purpose

Is far more then worthless.

It hasn't been stolen.

It's hard to find the light,

When you're searching in all the wrong places.

How can you stand in the fight,

Still wearing your braces?

Crippled by doubts,

Plagued with fears,

Worries too much to count...

Is it too close to call?

Or is the fight already over?

Will you get back up?

Or have you laid down your sword?

The greater the victory,

The higher the cost.

If your heart is still beating,

Have you truly lost?

Triumph is a choice,

Likewise is defeat.

My dear, without faith...

How can hope raise a voice?

You say I'm the fire,
And you, in my shadow.
But can an eagle fly without wind?

Every flame needs oxygen to grow.

Stand firm, brave one,

Don't bow to the waves, stay strong.

And when it all is said and done,

You'll realize you had the courage all along. 

Tale (Not So) Old as (Modern) Time

Few films I have seen this year have left me with as many mixed emotions as Disney's live-action adaptation of Beauty and the Beast. Even if the controversy swirling among Christian circles had never occurred, I'm fairly certain I would have left the theater feeling exactly the same. However, because the controversy did take place and posed very real concerns, I went into the film with my guard warily raised, for after what I heard, how could I not?  

First and foremost, I want to state that my intention is not to simply bash the film. As with most movies, there were indeed some parts that I found incredibly impressive, in particular the "be our guest" sequence, which was breathtakingly gorgeous in cinematography and scope. However, I cannot say that it was an excellent film as a whole. 

I won't lie, as soon as the movie began, and the first notes of the swirling score played, I felt a rush of nostalgia as childhood memories of the original animated film hearkened to mind. Due to the original being a particular favorite of mine, it was truly wonderful as the scenes unfolded quite similarly. The introduction of new story material provided more meat to the story's bones, which I found encouraging. Right from the beginning, I was given the impression that I was in for a visual feast, and the worries I had previously held almost faded away. 

Almost. After a few hiccups and blunders in the plot, I began to see a common vein in the story, a vein that was honestly frustrating. As a fantasy author, I completely understand the need to expand stories to give them many layers of complexity and intrigue. I myself have the desire to tell an original tale with as much creativity as I can muster, and I also entirely relate with the great struggle it can be to succeed. The film was audacious in their method, but ultimately failed in its scope. I was given the impression that the creators were almost self-conscious about the additions to the plot, and felt as if they had to drive the intended point home several times. Because of this, plot holes deepened, possible connections were lost, and the story left me wanting.

Visually, it was bold and rich; a true masterpiece. The dance sequences were fantastic, and the singers' voices rose with beautiful clarity. The score was beautifully made, and added the punching emotion that the film required. Yet, my concerns of the beast's appearance were sadly confirmed to be valid, and I found it hard to accept his 'werewolf' and goat-like design. His 'tameness' was simply confusing, and he just didn't seem as beast-like as the original, which I preferred. 

Which leads me to my last, but most important concerns regarding the film. Despite the attempt to give the film a semi-historical feeling, I never truly felt as if I were seeing a glimpse into the small, provincial French village they wanted to create. To be honest, the movie carried such a modern, progressive vibe that couldn't be ignored, and was entirely out of place. If modern storytelling could be accused of a particular fault, it would be that current issues are often pasted on top of a tale that wasn't the best platform to promote the ideal. This couldn't have a better example then the 'gay story-line' that combated with Belle's adventure. Not only was it entirely unnecessary and added nothing to the story, it was simply bad storytelling. I understand that the issue is a big topic in our culture, but Disney's ploy to essentially place such controversial views in a children's film is entirely ridiculous. As a Christian, I believe that it isn't right to promote anything that blatantly goes against God's Word, and considering how some of the cast has handled the situation makes me feel even more repulsed.  

Overall, it is a film I probably won't watch again, and I certainly won't purchase it when it is released on DVD. No, I haven't made this choice simply because of the gay content, even though that certainly was a factor. It simply was not the best remake of a story cherished by many, and in my opinion the live-action remake didn't top the original by any means. It was largely disappointing, despite my expectations never being that high to begin with. 

If you want my advice, use discretion before walking in the theater. If your children want to watch Beauty and the Beast, I'd recommend the original animated film where the characters aren't as confusing and the heart of the story shines though, surely as the sun will rise. 

Prayer of the Lonesome Heart

(And now, I believe that this blog will henceforth be a place to post my many poems...enjoy!)

I thank God for the lonely days,

The hours, fading, blindly rushing by.

Colorful yet somber, cutting through the grey.

I thank God for the silence, even in a crowd,

Despite chaotic scrambling, a peace...

It washes over me, a blessed shroud.

How magnificently proud, the clouds roll,

Like a billowing storm inside my heart.

Eerily still, how the sight stirs my soul.

For how can I despise the darkness?

When indeed, a part of it hides in me?

Can I stand in a world that is heartless?

Can they ever understand what I see?

Or has loneliness become the norm?

Is silence the price of maturity?

Regardless of the jaded eyes, I digress,

To empty my convictions without a fight.

My heart is weak, but doubtless I confess.

Apathy cannot hinder a faithful flight.